Not screwing up at work.  It makes for a ridiculous amount of stress and the occassional self-beat down.  And then I read about everyone else's problems and end up feeling like a whiny bitch.  Seriously... it's a job.  I'm lucky in every other regard in my life and I'm going to complain because I have a lot to do? Or people might not think I'm doing a good job? Really, what the worse that going to happen.  I get fired.  And then I have to look for something else to do.

Needless to say, I've been working on sucking it up a lot more.  It doesn't always happen easily but I do get over it.  Eventually.  Plus, I did the math and only 26.7% of my week is taken up by work.  I don't want the remaining 73.3% ruined because of stress.

Woo hoo! Last night of PT.  Not that I don't like all the people at that PT place but twice in a year is enough.  My heels feel totally back to normal, now it's just a matter of stretching all the time and not doing anything stupid.

So... like a month or so tops before I'm back there.

I found the photos.  Fear my Law and Order-ness :D

*DOINK DOINK* A styling Law and Order pose.

I've been watching The Guild online and it's pretty damn funny.  I got through the first season of True Blood and it wasn't too bad, I'll probably try to track down the second.

Work is crazy but... eh, it's not bad.  Just non-stop insane, drain your brain and make you attempt three things at the same time type of work.  It wouldn't be so bad if everything wasn't due three weeks ago > <  I mean, I'm learning, just kind of slowly.

Oof, it's time to go to bed... at 10pm.  *sigh* I'm old.

If I had a million... oooh wait, Mega Millions drawing... aw, not until 11pm.

Anyway, if I could, I would have the Zomb-a-thon channel in which for 22 hours a day, Zombie movies and television shows would play.  The other two hours would be infomercials.  For anti-zombie measures.

I need to play less Left 4 Dead.

In other news... oh HI END OF AUGUST.  When did you get here?  You know what I miss? Having enough to update this journal.  *sigh*

So like... WAY long ago, lexkixass stayed with us. Lots of fun was had, including some ludicrious antics on the steps of most of the US courthouses while we acted out Law and Order scenes *doink doink*.  But yeah, she and iamzuul gave us stuff for the garden and so, here's where they ended up.

( Pretty pretty pictures )

Anyway, Martin and I have decided that on most mornings, the conversation among our new inhabitants goes something like this.

Flamigo #1: OMG, NO. JUST NO. NOT AGAIN
Flamigo #2: *wails* I miss it, I miss it so much.  Do you even remember what it looks like?
Flamigo #1: I remember... it was beautiful, round and yellow.  And warm.  So warm...
Flamigo #2: And dry.  I miss being dry.
White statue: Okay, everyone needs to be quiet because I am PRAYING FOR SUN.

Or something to that effect.

Two elephants on a bell!!


What do I win/

Oh... look at that, two hours of PT. HURRAY ;_;

The past two days it has started to POUR at exactly five p.m.  Yesterday we waited it out (as our umbrellas were in a very useful place... home hallway).  It did makes us a bit late to see Jodi but at least we were drenched.

Today, same thing.  Only this time we have umbrellas so we can walk to the car even in a full downpour.  Which is was doing, complete with thunder, in brilliant sunshine.  The weather down here is kind of insane like.  The Passaic River looks like it is about to spill over onto Route 21. 

Anyway, we're going out for Thai (a great place in Belleville called Topaz) and it has just kind of stopped raining.  There is MASSIVE flooding on Washington Ave, like a river running along the sidewalk.  I... I can't help it.  I desperately want to swerve just enough to hit the puddle.  But I can't do that, I'm a responsible adult driving an adult car.

Suddenly the car infront of me swerves, hits the puddle and sends up a wave and then calmly goes back into traffic.  I wait like a second and follow suit, squeeing in glee at the large wave I create.  I pull back into the lane, completely overjoyed where I glimpse out of the rear view mirror... no way, did the car behind me do the same thing?

It's a fluke, it has to be.  The first car must have seen something in the road and the guy behind me was probably just a figment of my imagination.  But then the first car turns again and hits the river, and I do the same and AH HA the car behind me hits the puddle too.  I'm laughing at this point because it's hysterical that three cars are driving down a main road in Belleville, kicking up waves of water.

We get to do one more round before we get into the center of Nutley and the water disappears.  Still, it was a lot of fun.  I'm glad I'm not the only who wants to be a kid.

X-Men Universe Relationship Map

That is freaking spectacular. Not only does Wolverine hit anything remotely Japanese, no one comes close to his number. I think the second most popular person might be Cable, maybe Storm.

In other news...

I don't understand how NY isn't just a lake instead of a state at this point. It has rained every day for the past three weeks. Mind you my plants love it. I've got an explosion of flowers and vegetables but I'd still rather like some sun. Of course the current weather forecast has rain from now until Monday... I better be making dozens and dozens of batches of zucchini bread.

Other then that life is okay. Work alternatively kills me and bores me at the same time. I'm trying to not stress out too much and that works some of the time. Working out regularly at lunch helps. I'm currently rocking Week 2 of Couch to 5K and I think next week I might graduating to Week 3 (my weeks tend to last a month or so in terms of this program).

I've been bugged by friends to run a Call of Cthulu game (table top) but I'm not too confident in my GM skills. I have the perfect idea and on my more insane days I contemplate doing a dry run on LJ as an AU Naruto game. Like I said, my more insane days...

My WoW days were put on hold by Sims 3 which is crack. Everything wrong with the original game is gone in the new game. It's a lot of fun. Left 4 Dead is way too much fun for its own good but I haven't played it in ages. Most evenings we get home and it's like "What do you want to do?" and sadly, about all we can do is either watch TV or play games as most days, it's too rainy to do anything outside.

We did watch Drag Me to Hell as part of a 'date' night which was fine but tried way too hard to be Evil Dead. I have pretty much zero interest in seeing Transformers 2. I've found, as mentioned before, I'm not willing to put up with substandard movies anymore. At least, not with an HDTV at home that gets HBO. I can watch them on my couch and not deal with idiots in the theater who just HAVE to text.

Speaking of which, I keep really wanting a fancy iPhone or PalmPre or Blackberry. I feel like less of a geek because of not having one. But as I can't have my phone at work, it seems pretty pointless.

Oh so everyone has twitter now. I've had one for a while but it's not very active... The account name is (surprise) istoria.

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

Demanded from dianoetic

( Coffee )

( Tenten )

( Computers )

( Greek food )

( Writing )

I know, not nearly as a sexy as the buttsex meme going around but it pretty much sums up my day yesterday. My tooth had been going bad since last Thursday. It's difficult to put off a trip to the dentist when you're popping Advil like candy and it's doing nothing to cut the pain. My dentist squeezed me in and promised to alleviate the pain.

( Not for those that suffer from Aichmophobia )

In other news... ( Star Trek has ruined my summer )

Okay... so a while back, I heard that they were remaking The Sorcerer's Apprentice from Fantasia.

Okay... I guess I can see that.

Except it was going to be live action.

... eh, maybe that could work...

And star Nicholas Cage.

... o... kay.

And now there has been not one, but TWO car accidents during car chase scenes on the set of this movie.

Wait... what? In Fantasia, it was Mickey Mouse and dancing brooms in a mountain liar. How the hell does this translate into a live action movie with car chases???

So off to IMDB to figure out what the hell this new movie was going to be. The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010) has the following synposis:

A sorcerer leaves his workshop in the hands of his apprentice, who gets into trouble when the broomstick he's tasked to do his chores for him somehow develops a mind of its own

....................

I hate you Hollywood.

I believe that while we control our own fate, we can't control those around us. And that sometimes the rest of the world's decision can influence our own fate.

Oh hi. It's May.

I started to look back to see when exactly I started to neglect this journal. It was February 2008. My first business trip.

Work is... overwhelming. And tiring. And stressful. And either I learn to adapt to it or I'll exploded from the pressure.

I am doing lots of fun stuff. I have pictures to prove it. Someday soon I'll try to post them.

Hi,

Please give me a call right now! If you want to know about "Personal Computer"

Edward

Oh yeah, my "Personal Computer" is totally spectacular. Actually... it's a piece of crap that completely locked up for fifteen minutes before I decided to "manually reboot" it.

Ooooh... "manual reboot"... Bow chica wah wah.

Cleo says:
Doctor Octopus portrayer Alfred Molina has signed on to play an evil sorcerer in Jerry Bruckheimer's live-action Sorcerer's Apprentice remake. But who, oh who, will play the magic brooms?
Martin says:
...
that was a short in a collection, there's not nearly enough story for a full movie
Cleo says:
It's just... really? I mean, is there really nothing else you can make?
What's next? The dancing hippos staring Drew Barrymore?
Martin says:
rofl

I have found something I don't normally find when I've just walked into work... free time! Hurrah! And so I use to update my woeful out of date LJ. Poor LJ, you and I used to be such great friends but now I barely get to see you anymore.

I finished with Physical Therapy last night. My shoulders are doing a bit better and that's most likely a result of my attempt to correct a little thing known as posture. I'm still waiting on my ultra fancy knee brace but it should be ready sometime this week or next, just in time for tennis season. But most importantly, not having PT anymore means I get two nights a week back to myself. And since the game Martin was playing in on Thursdays ended as well that means we have a full THREE WEEKNIGHTS at home :D Huzzah! I still have a month of class but sometime in May, the majority of our weeknights will be spent at home, our home, doing... stuff. Important stuff.

No, actually it will be in part, going to the gym. I haven't exactly ballooned in size or weight but it's been this slow and steady increase and even if I'm watching what I eat, it's still going up. Plus... did I mention PT? Apparently once you are done, you're supposed to keep doing stuff to make sure you don't have to go back. Who knew.

In work related news... most of my work days go something like this. "OMG I HATE MY JOB, IT'S KILLING ME" to "This is the GREATEST and MUST FUN thing I've done EVER." In other words, it is probably what all new task leads feel like. To fill people in who don't hear me whine regularly, I was essentially put in charge of the software portion of a project that started extremely small (me and a couple of other developers) to one that has ballooned significantly (me as the lead and ten engineers I have to manage). That's right, I have to approve timecards, update schedules and yes, even fill out performance apprasials.

I don't think I'm doing the best job but I think I'm learning so... we'll see. My performance apprasial this year was a lot of "doing great work" and "has great potential" mixed in with "true test will come when project is in full swing". Trying not to get stressed out about that.

And then... just like that, my free time is gone.

I have official sold out. My husband was even laughing at me. Today I was not only holding, but actually using the Performance Appraisal Phrase Book. Yes my fellow geeks, I am slowly becoming management. I can only hope that I remember my techie ways as I progress and feel free to call me on any lunatic thing I might do.

( In which Cleo ponders the problems of programming... )

( In which Cleo ponders her lack of free time... )

( In which Cleo ponders all the things she likes to do  ) but time... time is always running out.

Like now, it's time to go home. Or more accurately, time to go to Target to get Skittles and a phone charger and then Stew Leonard's for Vodka. Anyone who reads the same blogs I do should have an inkling of what we're planning to do.

Happy snow!

Well, not happy at all for anyone who, like me, had to trudge into work. Dear NY, please spend more money on snow removal, thanks.

It's incredible because you can pretty much see the state line on the Garden State Parkway. It's horrible, horrible and then suddenly... smooth sailing. However, to all the Ford Truck owners on the road, this does not mean you can blow by us at 80. I know you think you have the best traction in the world but the lane lines aren't visible and you are drifting.

However, the trophy for "I want to kill you NOW" goes to NPR. I was driving slowly, hands clutching the wheel while trying to decide if that was sleet or freezing rain making it difficult to see more then two feet in front of me. And then NPR decides to put the following message out.

"NPR is supported by Houston, Texas. Houston, where the median temperature all year is 70 and..."

There was more. It was drowned out by my yelling. I mean honestly... was that really necessary?

Ugh, almost. It's been a while, I know but I'm trying, again, to regain some semblance of a life. Right now, my major time drain has been physical therapy and illness. Fun times.

In the world of work, my project moves on. I went to Maryland last week and had a productive meeting with one of the unfortunate byproducts being a rather nasty sinus infection. Had to stay home a couple of days and now... wait, crap forgot to take my medication...

Mhmmm steroidorific.

Anyway, starting to feel human again. But I have tooth that's gone bad so I know I'm headed for a root canal. Boo. And physical therapy is for two things. One is for the bum knee which has now been rated as "Insufficient ACL" which means I have to start building the muscle around it or it's going to fail. And I need to get a brace. Cha-ching. The other is because apparently your neck is supposed to curve slightly but my neck muscles have spasmed and locked and yeah... my neck bones are ramrod straight. Life of a programmer I guess.

So other then the fact that I'm falling apart (not really. As I told Martin it's like I'm being upgraded from Cleo 98 to Cleo XP to which he responded that that was fine so long as I wasn't going to Cleo ME), things are okay. Physical therapy takes up two nights away, class starts next week again (Program Management Office) and then those last two free nights always seem to get taken away.

I don't like having so much of my weekday pre-assigned. As is evident from the amount of PT I have to do (at least another 6 weeks), I have not been taking care of myself. It sucks to know that, especially when you're only 30 and have to sit around the PT office and see occasional future glimpses of yourself.

I was in the library not too long ago and could only think, man... I miss the library. I miss a lot of things. I miss just READING, not cramming in a few chapters waiting in a doctor's office.

I miss going to new restaurants. We just keep recycling the old ones and this is not interesting at all to me.

I miss doing stuff on the weekends. With the weekdays so packed, all Martin and I want to do on the weekends is veg. Last weekend we went to a gun show and while it's more his thing then mine, it was just fun to be out of the house. There are so many cool things occurring in our area that we miss because we're so beat at the end of week... *sigh*

Oh and I got myself a present for Christmas. My point and shoot camera died during our trip to Mexico and repairing cost about as much as it would to get a new one. Martin already has a point and shoot so... we decided that would be the family point and shoot and I go a Digital SLR (the Canon Rebel XS).

Speaking of presents... well.. Christmas passed. As did New Year's. And then Epiphany went *poof* so I'm trying to get my act (and mail) together and sending out Groundhog Days gifts... because yeah... I suck.

Other then that, life goes on. I need to get in the habit of updating more but honestly, I've already said that at least a dozen times in the last few entries.

There's a well camoflagued kitty in this picture. Can you find him?

( Squint and look hard... )

And I don't know where the old one went.

2008 is mostly a blur. And I enter 2009 with the fear that the same thing will happen. I let a lot go to the wayside in 2008 and I honestly don't think I'm better for it. Sure, work is going great but really... is that all there is to life? Work? I can look back on the long empty weeks of this journal and it mimicks my life. I'm lucky to have a great family, husband and friends nearby but at the same time... I don't know. I kind of miss the days of jabbering away with friends here. I miss my online life.

It's probably silly because I haven't met most of you. But you should know I read all your entries. I worry when you're sad, rejoice when you have good news. My friends list only changes communities, never the people who are a part of it.

That said, one of my 2009 resolution's is to try to relax. HAHAH.. no I'm serious. I need to find a clear definition between work and real life and part of doing that is finding things again that I may have forgotten I used to enjoy.

Anyway, this is where you come in. The comments here are screened, no one but me will ever see them. The question to answer is this: if there was some small way, some small favor that I could do that would make 2009 a bit brighter for you, what would it be?

Remember that my skillset is limited. As much as I would love to buy or build everyone a huge house, I can't. I can knit you something, cook you something, write you something, photograph something... well, most of you know what I can do. If you think that I can grant you one favor, then this is the place to ask for it. This will be my "to do for my LJ friends" list for 2009.